5 things to keep in mind before you start planning your wedding
First of all, congrats on your engagement! Are you feeling the heat of wedding planning yet?
Before you dive deep into planning your wedding, I want to tell you this: Yes, it is super fun to plan your special day, however it is not all fun, it is overwhelming, tiring, time-consuming, sometimes even dramatic. Here are some things to keep in mind while planning your wedding:
1) You are in charge of how much you spend on your wedding
Weddings can be expensive if you want to have all the bells and whistles. However; I have seen weddings that cost $10K and ones that are at the higher end, but I always seem to enjoy the ones that focus on the experience itself rather than just the aesthetics. There are so many ways that you can cut down on the budget and still have the wedding of your dreams. Think of the 3 items that will cost you the most for your wedding; like venue, catering and décor for instance, and find a creative way to have them at a lower cost. For the venue, maybe instead of booking a ballroom in a hotel, you can find a unique location like a local barn, a winery or maybe an acreage that leases out their space. Then for the food you can get really creative; remember it is not only 2 option buffet or seated dinner, you can have a grazing board, a putlock, food trucks ..etc. Maybe also skip on the traditional gigantic cake and replace it with a dessert table, candy bar, donut bar, or a cupcake tower, and trust me your guests are more likely to remember these untraditional options. As for the décor, there are hundreds of ways to reduce cost, you can go for DIY décor, upcycled decor, use nature as a backdrop or opt for a minimalist wedding! If you keep an open mind on what is considered wedding appropriate what is not, you will be able to come up with creative solutions and smart alternatives.
2) Keep it manageable
So if you are planning your own wedding or you are on a limited budget, my best advice is “Don’t over do it!” keep it simple, select a couple of things to be your priority and the rest would fall in the no-pressure zone. It is so easy to keep adding things to your list until you stretch yourself too thin and start resenting the whole process. The best way to stay focused on what is important to you, is by writing down a clear wedding vision and use it as an anchor to keep you sane when it gets messy. Filling out this free downloadable “Our Wedding Specs” is the way to get you started with your wedding planning process. You can sit with your partner and lay down the basis of your wedding. It also allows you to see the big picture, and edit down your vision to its simplest yet most effective form. It keeps you on track without being swayed by all the options available, and most importantly it makes communication with vendors way easier and clearer.
3) Stick to a budget
There is a rule that I go by in my everyday life, and it keeps me from over-spending “ There are so many beautiful things in the world, but you don’t need them all. “ Select only the things that bring you joy and add value to your day. I am a big believer of less is more, and I will tell you why, having so many things going on at the same time or place, undermines the value of all of them, while if you have 1 or 2 wow factors, they would be your focal point and their worth will shine. Keep track of your expenses on a budget tracker sheet and keep in mind a lot of unexpected expenses will show up along the way. It would be great if you would keep some wiggle room in your budget for all those random buys, vendor tips and possible mishaps.
There are so many free budget trackers and tools out there that you can take advantage of. I stumbled upon this useful Budget Tool that I really liked from Junebug Weddings.
4) It is your wedding! Do you!
As strong willed as you are, at some point during the planning you might get influenced or pressured by the people you love. Your Aunt who wished she wore a ballgown on her wedding will push you to get one, your friend might convince you that having your wedding in your backyard is not cool and so on. Speaking from personal experience, I fell in the trap of “that is how a wedding is supposed to be”. All I wanted was a minimal, outdoor, micro-wedding where I would be able to dance and chat with my favorite people all night, and I felt the pressure of “lets invite every single person we know, serve an endless buffet with endless choices, have a grand entrance (and I hate being in the spotlight)” and I ended up having a big fat wedding. What I just described might be another bride’s dream but it wasn’t mine!. This is the only day that everyone follows your rules so embrace every little detail of your personality and tell your story. So, if you want your wedding to be under the lights of a thousand stars, and your guests gathered around a bonfire, or want to rent out your local carnival, or have it in a zoo, go for it!
5) Don’t let it consume you
Now that you got engaged, you can’t stop thinking about your wedding, right? Your phone’s gallery is already filled with wedding related photos, you probably started a Pinterest board, have a notebook with all the ideas you want to have (if you are old-fashioned like me and your ideas only flow using a pen), email threads with vendors and you can’t stop daydreaming about your day. If you are currently at this stage, I assure you are going to be worn down towards the end, and might even get to the point where you just want the wedding to be over. So, the best way to enjoy the wedding planning process is by allocating timeframes for each task (even brainstorming sessions should be limited), have some sort of a wedding planner tool; whether it is an app, a book, a digital template it doesn’t matter as long as you can organize your thoughts and not get swamped by overthinking.
Allow your loved ones to help you, assign to them tasks like: Vendor research, sending out invites, putting together favors and more. Most of the time everyone around you wants to help, and don’t know how they can do so. Create a group chat where you send out requests like: “ who can help get me quotes for photography packages?” and when someone volunteers to help, you can send them further details.
Just remember, it supposed to be a joyful experience, so take off the pressure of “ the day should be perfect” and enjoy the process.